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We often say, goodness is a person's best quality. But, whether had you had such bewilderment, why some people, a person's mind is very kind-hearted, does the time pass very badly however? About this problem, psychological expert gave out to explain as follows.
Above all, a lot of people are not goodness of true a person's mind, we should distinguish true kindness and " flattery character " the distinction between. "Flattery character " those who point to is, some kind of person has the sedulous flattery, moral quality that caters to other chronically idiosyncratic, they always put others in ego heart " Vip room " in, it is others consider everywhere, too the feeling that cares about other, and him oversight inner demand.
When oneself apiration and other expect conflict, the preference that they can choose him sacrifice goes catering to other. Accordingly, this kind of person always gives others a kind " a benign and uncontentious person who is indifferent to matters of principle " feeling, can reject the request of others scarcely, first-rate get along.
Of course, have " flattery character " person, also often be heart be apt to. the kindness because of them, ability can know those who care about others to experience, do not be a center with ego, maintain harmonious human relationship as far as possible.
But, so chronic compliant another person also has disadvantage. In them too when the feeling that considers others, easy him oversight inner sound, depressed oneself demand thereby.
Clinical psychology considers to make clear, a person depresses him for a long time, the body secretes much pressure hormone easily, can bring about him mood on one hand not beautiful, in be immersed in negative position.
Because anger and sadness are the mood with chief the other party of two kinds of this disappear, when the anger that when you the depression removes pair of alien, this kind of negative force arrives with respect to meeting attack on yourself body, in bringing about you to be immersed in exceeding sadness, anguish.
On the other hand, the endocrine that depresses ego to still can bring about his, digestion be affected, serious person can suffer from even on all sorts of bodies and psychological disease.
So, this kind of flattery character is idiosyncratic, what is contacted with the destiny of a person? From external objective reality will tell, when a person blindly go pleasing another person, do not know refuse, can let oneself only originally life rhythm is interrupted indefinitely, always be on not as large as him relation issue wasteful time energy.
This kind of person is on-the-job in field, how can because be not known,also refuse, a person's mind is kind-hearted, be used easily by other. For example, the colleague all round can think their person is nice, let its do a few especially thing, the goodness them inspects of course. As time passes, a benign and uncontentious person who is indifferent to matters of principle that kind-hearted person was inspected to won't refuse, by all sorts of especially the job is being held, cause oneself life a complete mess instead.
From them the angle of oneself is told, by its greatly disposition affects the destiny of a person. To those hearts too the person of be apt to, having on their body very tall " altruistic sex " , always be the opinion of first consideration others.
But, others not likely is likewise well-meaning, some people will be cankered, use this subhuman kindness, do a few violate moral responsibility. Say so, they are cheated very easily by other, encounter experience of a few ill.
This also can let them feel this life is unfortunate, always be in by others bully and oppress, always depress true ego, as if do not pursue long joy. As time passes, they meet those who feel a heart be short of break, empty, as if oneself besides the goodness like sodden good person, what to remain, look from this angle, the lot that they behave is bad, because,be only actually heart too be apt to.
Author
The first psychology is editorial round | Magical small
Reference material:
" psychological introduction "
